Every morning, without fail, the department director of our beloved cube farm bounds ( I use this term loosely) in and say’s “Bonjour!”….Ugh…Kill Me….. It’s not that I have anything against the French or really that I have any issue with a half hearted welcome every morning as the sleep cracks from my eyelids while trying to sip coffee and turn on my PC…. No I think problem stems from the fact that the French greeting has a very noticeable southern draw to it, and by the looks of her the only thing French she had ever had is fries….well that and maybe an Arby’s French dip. I know that in her mind she thinks she is being quirky and cultured but it’s just annoying. Maybe this seems trite but after watching her smile in the face of management and sit and take it up the ass like a cheap slut I’m allowed to feel that way. Right? I mean if she showed some kind of respect for the position she was in; or her body for that matter, I might be able to show her some sort of respect. I just can’t bring my self to it… no matter what, I can’t. I know that she promotes young guys like me because they flatter her but there is no way I will do that, I don’t fuck animals….and I don’t compliment them either. So that should paint a picture of our bosses’ boss. The best way to describe her is a fat cougar from Alabama who knows 4 French phrases……but as the cool kids say….Haters’ Gon Hate.
-OmegaApex

Fashion CSI

I would make guys like this one pictured above scream for their mother's when I was in college. I have a thing for dudes with beards, who may/may not be homeless, who may/may not be legit artists and poets. For reasons that are purely my own, there is nothing wrong with his fashion. I'd actually like to take him home with me. And do naughty, naughty things to him while he recited Charles Bukowski out loud.

This is the kind of outfit that screams, "TAKE ME HOME WITH YOU! I'M INSECURE!" Not only is she insecure, but she'd probably just lay their like some wounded emo while you mounted her. She's in for a world of disappointment when she gets to college. Poor thing.

Anyway, who the fuck wears shorts like that? See how she's tugging on them in frame one? You know what that tells me? Those shorts are allllll up in her twat. Trust me, it's uncomfortable. I do like how she was able to raid her 45 year old Mother's closet for a shirt to coordinate though. It's got a hint of accountant with a pinch of despair. Her hair? Well, words fail me.

So let's move on:


The only thing I thought when I saw this photo is:

"So... is the left tit bigger, that's why it's capitalized?"

Doubtful.

~Sister Atticus

The Commute

1. Yesterday morning I nearly hit a hooker who refused to use the crosswalk. Instead, she opted to saunter out into on coming traffic and stand there. Luckily (or not?) I had time to stop, but not before I yelled at her to get the hell out of the way. But like OmegaApex says, "She wouldn't have cried if you hit her. Hookers don't have feelings."

2. This morning I saw one hot guy on a motorcycle and then... one not so hot guy. Think Homer Simpson. Shirtless. On a piece of shit Yamaha. With plumber's crack. It was nearly as bad as having a pube caught in your throat.

3. Oh the ways of the heavy footed brake tapper. I don't think this needs much explanation. The guy driving kept flipping me off for getting to close. THERE IS NO NEED TO COME TO A NEAR COMPLETE STOP WHILE EXITING OFF THE RAMP. Asshole.

~Sister Atticus

I NEED an Orange Julius

Why is the Eaton ‘s Center Closed? Most of the business’ in Toronto are closing their doors because of the G20 summit, rowdy protestors and vandals have been breaking storefront windows, and the City of Toronto has refused to pay for any damage caused by they ruffians that the conference brings, the city says this is because the stores insurance should cover it. Privately owned store that look at paying deductibles of 2k plus for broken store front, are locking their doors. BTW Sweet Purse Dude. -OmegaApex

Sentiments of a Cube Farm

The monotony of this corporate bullshit is stealing my soul I feel it every day! I should be creating, inspiring, developing, making and doing. But i wait, I wait on the end of the day, I wait on the end of the week I wait on the end of the season....I wait. I wait but for what do I wait, a promotion? A pay increase? Can any pay actually come close to filling the chasam in my soul that I feel is being taken everyday I walk into this forsaken place. I turn into the parking lot hoping the place is gone, leveled, not destroyed but disappeared....vanishied from earth and my memory....but its not it is here in all its malicious glory...and I scream Fuck! in my head but utter no sound. The phone rings and FUCK! but nothing comes out...I get a redundent email and FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! but all is silent. All is well and we smile as we slowly die each day!

-OmegaApex

Tryin To Make Dollar Out Of Fifteen Cents...

Mary: Did you send the child support?

God: Frankincense and myrrh. Yeah.

Mary Annnnnd?

God: (sighs). And gold. And the gold.

Mary: That’s better.

~ Sister Atticus

Perv of The Week

Yeah this x-ray sold for $45,000 at a Las Vegas auction yesterday. What/Who is it of? It's a 1954 x-ray of Marilyn Monroe's Mommy Bags post miscarriage. 45K that's more than I make at the cube farm...Hey I have a x-ray of my broken arm when I was 12....on sale now, creepiest bidder wins.

-OmegaApex

www.lissie.com

Half of a Welc ome.

Here we are, Cube Junkies, The once youthful vibrant dreamy citizens of mother earth reduced to little more than a number and a ID card. Behold Our Rebellion! -OmegaApex

Hold On to Your Hats Folks